So for those of you that haven’t heard. Myself and some of the Mamma with a Cuppa Team are doing the One Million Steps Challenge. We are all really working on hard on this and trying to succeed. We are raising money for Team Evie.
At the moment my fundraising has been pretty non-existent, so its my next big push! Team Evie is an Amazing Charity – to find out more and sponsor me – please click this link
Walking out on my own in the first week of this challenge was full of anticipation. I have one million things going on in my mind (let alone steps) I felt invigorated at the start. I loved the first week. Then everything seemed to get too much. It’s a strange thing, as the weather has actually got better and this first week I walked in the pouring rain – Now that’s determination!
But a few weeks in and for the first time in a while, I think I’m failing at something. It doesn’t feel good. I hate not succeeding. This weekend a had a surge of energy on Friday and decided to set myself a goal of 40,000 steps for my three day long weekend. I managed two days of 11,000 and then felt exhausted, Sunday came to about 6,000. Again another fail. This feels strange.
I have done physical challenges before – The Ben Nevis Challenge probably the biggest (Climbing a Mountain, Cycling and Rowing) All in one day – this however was very different and before becoming a mum. I feel like I’m realising its hard to fit it in, around my daily life.
So why? Why is always competitive, enthusiastic me feeling like this?
Well ….. Finley is waking up early (very early 4.30am) most days right now, and its properly exhausting me. I am studying to become a meditation teacher, so I am and I am trying to set up a business that is basically taking full time hours from me 5 days a week as well as being a mum and working into almost every evening. Amongst a lot of other stuff happening personally. I feel a bit of an idiot if I’m honest. Have I taken on way too much?
So I know this post overall sounds like a whinge, a rant and a bunch of excuses. But it’s me putting on paper what I have felt the first 20 days of My Million Steps Challenge. It has gone from absolute determination to a complete feeling of struggle.
So how do I deal with this?
Yesterday afternoon and today I have one hundred percent slowed myself down and just literally thought about what I NEED to do.
I know exercise is also an amazing cure for all these things that I am feeling, it drags me back up when I’m feeling low or anxious.
Its made me take a step back and think – I do have time for walking – I will make time. I just need to knuckle down and I NEED to make myself a routine, that I will stick too. Routine has always been everything in my little world of me!
So in conclusion, 20 days in I’m feeling like a failure – I know deep down that I want to complete My Million Steps in 90 Days. I need to do this!
As I've sat here and read this through - I've realised something. I'm not just doing this for me - I'm doing it for my Team and for (most importantly) Team Evie!