J is for Juggle

Juggling family, friends, work, play , self- care, time alone, shopping, exercising the list goes on. I think I have found this the hardest part of being a mother. The nicest part is when you have a new born (when you think back now) as it gives you an excuse! It gives you that 'allowed' time - people assume you are just having time with your baby.

I did lose friends at the time when I became a Mum - ironically even some that were already mums. Maybe we were just very different mums, or they needed more attention than I could ever give once I myself had a child. The real friends stick with you. I've learnt that. You have to adjust that Mum friends will come and go, sometimes there are months on end, where you can't meet up - That's ok - its Life. The Mum Juggle has got in the way.

Family and keeping them happy once you have had a Baby is hard. There's your immediate family -Your Husband / Wife/ Partner - They need attention too. Its hard. Sex seems like a distant memory and stopping for deep and meaningful chats (that aren't about your child) feel like a romantic chick flick daydream.

Grand parents have opinions! - Which you really need to ask, but then officially hate the answers as they completely conflict with any modern day parenting advice. But at the back of your mind you think - Well I'm still alive ? They can't of been so bad at it?

Work for me has always been a back burner, stress on the side. Seriously entrepreneurial, only happy as my own boss. Bloody hard work as a mum. Its basically constant - Working from home is working all the time - As you can't turn off. You have constant mum guilt from your toddler now telling "Mummy put your phone down"

Self care - is not just a bath - That's how you get clean! for about two years of my childs life I believed it was. It isn't and i've spent the last year re learning how to look after myself as sad as that may sound. Its made me a better mother. Exercise has been a huge part of this journey. I hated it - but walking saved me from a screaming bubba - pushing him miles in his pram and taught me to exercise.

Time alone and shopping - They go hand in hand - Fighting over who will go to the supermarket to get the weekly shop done. Its peaceful! as long as you can avoid people, yes you are my friend that I haven't seen in years, but no i don't want to talk as this is me time. A plus point of Covid are supermarkets can be undercover and hopefully people won't recognise you! (I'M JUST KIDDING)

A fitness class is a great time out too again prefer ones i don't know anyone - or in the days where going to the gym wasn't about sanitising within an inch of your life and the 2 meter rule. Gym was fun too.

So the mum juggle for me is pretty much this. I could go on, I'm sure we all could. It is most definitely real!

Mum of 1 , Age 34

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